Two emails in two days? Whoops, sorry! Totally forgot to send this one last week and didn’t want to get too far into April without getting it out.
Embodiment
Having a whole month centered on “embodiment” probably seems redundant because isn’t that what we’re always doing in a yoga class? Yes and no.
I, at least, need regular reminders that I have a body and that I need to pay it a little attention. I find it very easy to get stuck up in the clouds, wandering around in abstraction, totally disembodied. I catch myself saying things like, the whole reason we do asana is to prepare the body for stillness in meditation.
Which, again, yes and no. That’s part of it. But that’s also pretty dismissive. That kind of thinking closes us off to a pretty significant side of being alive. And even though it feels like our big beautiful brains are somehow separate from our grubby little bodies, they’re really not.
But before we go further, the playlist:
Why have a body if we’re not meant to use it?
This month we talked a lot about two main approaches to having a body when it comes to a spiritual practice (yoga or otherwise).
The first approach essentially sees the body as a burden and a hindrance on the path of spiritual growth. Breakthrough or enlightenment will only come through exhaustive efforts to overcome or purify or subdue or escape the body. It constantly thwarts us and distracts us from our higher calling with all its inconvenient needs and wants and failings.
The second approach sees the body as a tool, perhaps our greatest tool, on our spiritual journey. It sees the body as a divine instrument. The challenge then is not to escape or overthrow it but to learn how to tune it and how to use it. Not in a tech bro “optimizing” sense but like an orchestra warming up for a performance or like tuning a radio dial until you cut through the static and catch the signal you’ve been seeking (or the signal that’s been seeking you).
Most of what we did in class this month was based in this approach. The main question we circled was inspired by the Gregory Orr poem below: Why have a body if we’re not meant to use it?
For some people this comes intuitively. As mentioned above, I am not one of these people. I have to intentionally practice this. I have to endlessly learn and relearn how to work with my body instead of against it. Because it’s complicated business — having a body! — and this relationship can be one of the most complex relationships in our lives. But our relationships with other people are far from perfect, so why should this one be any different? We can be mean and petty and hurtful with the people we love the most, taking for granted their presence in our lives. Our bodies are no different and sometimes get the worst of us.
And they’re not always pleasant places to be. Sometimes the last place we want to be is in the body, fully feeling what we’re feeling in any given moment. Sometimes that’s awful and escaping is a protective measure. They (we) get hurt, they (we) get sick, they (we) get old, they (we) change, they (we) aren’t what we wished they’d be or can’t do what we wish they could do or don’t look the way we wish they would look. They (we) will eventually die. Unlike other animals, we know this and carrying the weight of this knowledge around is probably why we spend so much of our lives actively trying to escape and deny our bodies. Because how the hell do you fully acknowledge that and then just go on with your day???
But the body can also be a wonderful place to be. Sure there’s intellectual pleasure but when we talk about pleasure, we usually mean bodily. Good food. Dancing and feeling music move through you. A fantastic sunset or a magical foggy morning. The smell of petrichor or clean sheets or your partner’s sweat. Sex. A cold plunge and warming up afterward. Fresh socks. The feeling of spent legs after a hard workout. Ice cold water when you’re thirsty. The taste of berries at the height of summer. Gazing into your dog’s eyes. The sound of your best friend’s laugh or the mourning dove outside your window. Someone running their hands through your hair.
The body brings us all these gifts and countless more. Still, the idea of befriending the body is a little mushy for me. But I’ve at least come to a point where I don’t see it as an enemy. We’re in this thing together, until the end. It does all sorts of work without me knowing, keeping the two of us alive, together. It’s withstood all sorts of bullshit and neglect when it deserved better from me. It’s only in the past few years that I’ve started to understand just how much respect and gratitude and trust I owe it. If I used and abused this thing in my 20s, my 30s have been all about trying to make amends.
And part of that is sitting with unpleasantness and the knowledge that one day it will be tired and worn out (maybe sick or injured or simply worn down) and it won’t be able to do it any longer. That’s just the deal. That is the unavoidable destination for this ride we’re on. I didn’t set those terms, but neither did my body so why should I hold that against it? Can I instead try to enjoy the ride? See it as the gift it is — imperfect and fleeting — and stay curious about this trip we’re on? It’s been my companion through the best and worst moments of my life, the very least I can do is return the favor and be with it.
These are the questions I’ve been turning over in my own practice lately and so these are the questions I brought to class this month.
Meditations
We bookended class with a few different meditations throughout month. Most weeks we worked with a brief mindfulness meditation, scanning our way through the senses. We noticed which senses showed up most strongly for us and which were hardest to tap into. We noticed how the mental chatter quieted down and the physical jitters subsided as we focused in this way. We noticed how you can’t be living in the future or the past when you’re focused so entirely on the specific sensory information your body is feeding you right now, this second.
We also placed an anchor point within the body and spent time strengthening that connection with simple breath. Then we came back to that point throughout class, practicing our ability to drop into the body even while focused on other things (like being in a yoga class and trying to keep your balance and remember to breath while there’s music playing and a teacher walking around yapping and there are all sorts of other distractions happening).
Some weeks this anchor point was one we felt neutral to positive toward. Other weeks it was one we had a more challenging relationship with. We placed a hand on this point and breathed into it as we (silently) talked to it. Aired out our grievances. Asked for forgiveness. Forgave. Expressed thanks. Listened to what it had to say back without argument or rebuttal. (Now that’s mushy, I know, but it’s also powerful!)
Mantra
We had two this month:
atha yoga anushasanam / now begins the practice of yoga
om hari om / a call to Vishnu
Asana
We practiced self-adjustments throughout class to cultivate a sense of grounding and stability, or to physically move our own skeletons or muscles into a different alignment, or to get simple tactile feedback from the breath. Self-adjustments were so eye opening for me when I learned a few and helped me find another avenue into the physical side of the practice. Nothing beats a good hands on adjustment from a trusted teacher, but I do think there’s real power in people learning that they are often capable of doing it for themselves too.
Yoga Nidra
I got to lead another extended session on the new moon/equinox. If you came out to that and spent your Friday night with me, thank you! If you missed it, I’m hoping to get another one scheduled soon so keep an eye out. In the meantime there’s always the weekly Monday nidra class if you’re curious. I’m just so grateful there are enough people interested in this practice to support a weekly class.
That’s all for this month <3